Grief is the price we pay for love, said someone rich, old and regal.

I didn’t ask for that love though; I was born into it, choiceless and now it has been taken away.

Numb to everything. Enjoyment threshold way out of reach. Only half an experience, half a sensation, half alive.

Today is my 30th birthday – 360 months since I was born.

I have spent 57% of my life so far in education
27% in work
34% living in Brighton
20% living in Devon
3% travelling abroad
33% asleep
37% with A
1.39% without Dad

No time to breathe.

Moment caught on a Tube train, reflection twisted in the dark glass, legs disappeared into an empty black stomach, just as I feel.