It has been a while since I updated this list, so here goes…
Things that really warm my cockles:
- The smell of new carpets, freshly cut grass and new Apple Macs.
- Piglets, hedgehogs, seahorses, elephants, rays, bears and whales. They make me cry.
- Proper decent cider, at room temperature. (Ice and lemon? Bollocks!)
- Powdery lavender-ish cornflower blue.
- Really fresh, lightly steamed green vegetables with salt and butter.
- Guy Fawkes night.
- The bones in tinned fish. Boiled bones – num num num!
- Horses’ muzzles. Come to think of it, horse smell too. (I’m not a horsey girl though, promise.)
Things that really get my goat:
- Small talk. Say something interesting or shut the fuck up.
- People that end sentences with ‘so’ or ‘or’. Try it – and then slap yourself.
- People that walk too slowly. That’s nearly everyone.
- When the bubbles go up your neck and behind your head when you lean back in the bath. I don’t know why either.
- Waiters that take plates away while other people are still eating. Come to think of it, I’d be happy if they left everything on the table till we got our coats.
- While we’re on the subject – bad table manners. And people that won’t hold cutlery correctly.
- The “that’s not art” statement. Why not just wear a t-shirt that say “I have no imagination and like all my answers on a plate”.
- Abi Titmuss. I mean is that the best we can hope to aspire to? What exactly has she done that merits that celebrity? Ditto WAGs.
- Trago Mills. Evidently Hitler has not left the building.
- Tuning radios and TVs.
- Pot-holing under water. I will eat my own arm before I do that shit.
- ‘Ambient’ music on websites.